Uneducated Thoughts: Sunday Anxiety Haircut

Hey guys.

It's Sunday again.
And you know what that means.
School begins again tomorrow.
And you know what that means.
I'm terrified.
-
Okay, honestly, I'm not really scared of attending school.
Oh no, it's not fear that dominates my emotions every Sunday.
It's pure, uninterrupted loathing.
(And, okay, a little bit of fear)
This loathing is largely due to the fact that I hate school, I don't really like anyone at school, and at school I'm forced to do all sorts of things I don't particularly enjoy.
(Like hand-write quickly, and talk to people, and math)
-
I'm seeing a counselor soon.
I'm kind of worried it won't work.
I've just been focused on my problems for a while now,
what if they don't count?
Above all else, I'm scared that this will all end up being an elaborate hoax created by my brain to get attention.
I just...
I don't know.
I'm scared.
I don't want the therapy to not work, and I don't want my problems to be much more mild than I think they are.
-
I'm getting a haircut on Wednesday.
FINALLY.
I'm going to do something a little bit different.
Not so many bangs on the forehead.
-
I feel...Kind of frustrated.
With myself.
I feel like I'm such a sad, pitiful little person.
Dwelling on my issues.
Worrying.
Doubting myself.
Regretting past decisions.
Loathing most parts of myself.
Wishing I had someone to talk to.
Who the hell wants to be friends with that kind of person, y'know?
-
Oh well.


Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts: I Don't Know What to Put Here Today

As I write this, I'm listening to music.
Just, in general.
Music.
No specifications here.
-
I wrote some poems a little while ago.
Most of them are about me
I kind of like them.
They've got a weird rhythm to them
-
I'm having some trouble typing today.
Lots of typos.
It's a little nerve-wracking.
-
It's finally Winter Break!
WOO!
NO MORE SCHOOL!
-
Honestly, though, it really is nice to have a Sunday where my whole day isn't spent going "Oh god, school tomorrow. Man, I hate school. I hate school"
-
I don't know what to say.
Maybe I have too much to say.
Maybe not enough.
I don't know.

Please comment.


Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts : Short & Sweet

Hey, guys.
I made a collage-type art thing today.
You can see it here.
If you want.
-
As I write this, I am currently listening to "Clique" by Kanye West.
Some people might say my music taste has gone down the drain.
I like to think of it as broadening horizons.
-
So, yeah.
Today I edited this week's wednesday upload.
It's great having this long weekend.
I don't have to worry about not having time to edit/record things.
Which means more frequent videos!
The only problem is going back to school on wednesday,
but I guess nothing lasts forever.
-
Election day is coming.
I'm just excited for it to be over.
I don't mind a healthy bit of politics,
but it's just getting tiring.
Maybe I'm a bad citizen.
-
I've been in a very artsy mood lately,
producing a lot of photoshoppy things and videos.
That's good, though.
-
I did neat things to a picture of space.
Maybe I'll do something with it.
-
Space is interesting.
It's so...
Big.
-
Today, I finished editing a video.
Definitely a new video this wednesday.
Absolutely no doubt.
-
I guess that's all.
See you on wednesday.

Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts : Not Quite Forgotten

I filmed a video today.
But I might not even upload it.
Nothing I say is interesting.
I live the life of a twelve-year-old,
with my parents and family.
There's nothing to do, nothing to say.
All is childish,
all is youth.
And it sucks.
-
I really hate this.
I know I shouldn't.
I know my age should be a good thing,
just something I have to deal with.
But, somehow, it becomes difficult.
I'm ahead of my peers in self-observance.
I pay attention to how I feel,
to what my life is,
and, in that, I am beyond them.
-
YACHT, Bobby Birdman, and Jeffrey Jerusalem dominate my playlists.
(Mental playlists, of course. In reality, I have to search for all songs individually)
As well as some Santigold, and a bit of Ratatat.
-
I realize that this might sound a bit differently than usually.
I'm still in my writer mood,
so this voice might not be entirely my own.
Characters might creep in at the corners.
-
I'm hoping that, relatively soon, I'll be able to work on a video I've been planning.
I don't want to give anything away,
but it might involve fake blood.
-
My mind felt like it went through a meat grinder today.
Splattered around the inside of my skull, it hung in shreds and modestly processed the world around it.
Accounting for much of my general tiredness, slowness, and general dissatisfaction.
For some reason, I get confused by feeling average.
When I'm not remarkably happy, sad, angry, or bored, it's strange, to me.
I can't pinpoint my emotions, can't categorize.
Some people consider organization a useful skill,
but sometimes it seems more like a bad habit.
-
Well, I suppose I'll just leave you with that.
Not much to say.
Hopefully, there'll be a video,
but no guarantees.
(It saddens me that I have to say that)






Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts: Bone Broke

Hey.
It's me.
And I have no money.
-
I mean, I've got a bit,
but what does that count for when a good camera costs more than a couch at IKEA?
I've been scheming,
but I'm not sure if any of the ideas are all that realistic.
-
One idea, for instance, is to start a small-cale design business.
And, yes, I know I'm extremely young to start a business,
and that I'm not all that great at art, but....
I like it.
And, I mean, maybe someone could let me design a poster for them or something.
Or birthday invitations.
ANYTHING
-
Speaking of design,
I made a new image for my inspiration wall,
this one I'm quite happy about.
You can see it here.
-
Another scheme is, of course, selling things.
I just have to figure out how that would work out.
-
I've been listening to some Audio Bullys lately.
Not bad.
Who knew brits were so great at rapping?
-
Also, I've been wondering a bit,
Is anyone even reading this?
If you are, whoever you are,
type "here" in the comments.
Or put your favorite color.
Or just type a comment.
Something, I don't care what.
I just want to know how many people are actually seeing these.
-
So, today I went to IKEA.
The phrase "Enough of this OCD stuff." was spoken to me by my father, after I fixed a pole that was popping out of its wrapping.
Then my mom joined in with, "Yeah, you don't really have OCD."
Who said I did?
Because I put things in their wrapping when they're poking out?
Why were these words spoken?
They probably meant nothing by it, but...
It just makes me feel kinda weird.
I don't know how to explain it.
-
Well, I gues that's all.
Hopefully I'll upload on wednesday.
Sorry it was so short.



Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts: Disc Jockey > DJ

Okay, it's me
And let me just make something clear.
Disc Jockey > DJ
I mean, come on.
Isn't it obvious.
-
Ordered a new camera battery in the mail today.
Hopefully, it'll come soon.
Yay for that.
-
Meanwhile, I've been thinking about getting a tripod.
In case you couldn't tell, a bookshelf isn't the best place to put a camera.
I can't see what I'm filming.
-
Also,
saving money is hard.
Especially without a source of income.
Ah, well.
This is not the time to whine.
Good things shall happen!
-
Like friends, for instance.
I now know a girl with one of the catchiest names ever.
And she seems pretty cool.
Friendship?
I sure hope so.
-
I'm gonna try the new schedule, but who knows.
Maybe I'll change my mind.
For know, though
I'm working with what I've got.
-
I can't wait until I can get that battery and do my channel justice.
There's just too much suckish stuff on there.
I need to make something better.
I just need to.
-
Well, I suppose that's it.
I have off school wednesday,
so I'll try to upload a video.
-



Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts: Real Feminism

Hey guys.
It's me again.
-
I got a new cardigan.
It's grey.
I quite like it.
My granddad used to wear lot of cardigans.
Maybe it's hereditary.
-
There's a really cool documentary coming out.
I'm real excited about it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCAAf7y8FOg&feature=g-user-lik
Can't wait 'till I get to see it.
-
This is one of those days when I feel like a true feminist.
Putting up with cramps without taking painkillers.
(Okay, fine.
My stomach can't handle the pills.
But still,
I'm tough.)
Top that, Ani DiFranco.
-
Today, I'm listening to Amanda Palmer.
Pretty catchy stuff.
-
We don't have school tomorrow.
It's Rosh Hashana.
I'm not Jewish.
-
It's sunny out today.
Almost fall, though.
Pretty excited.
I love the food in fall.
Pumpkin-flavored anything is pretty sweet.
-
Well, I guess that's all I have to say.
Enjoy my stream of consciousness.

Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts: A Collection of Short Sentences

It's me, Corrina.

I've recently been slacking on my videos.
My camera's broken.
My camera. Is. Broken.
And it's been driving me insane.
I just want to take pictures and make videos.
But that's hard to do when you have a camera that doesn't charge properly.
Or even connect to your computer.
Oh well.
-
So,
School has  started now.
The new school's alright.
I'm not loving music class.
Oh well.
Shtuff happens.
-
What do you think of the new background?
I kinda like it.
I enjoyed making it.
I'd like to do more background/title-y/graphic-type things, but I don't know what to make them for.
And I have school.
-
The election's coming up.
Hooray for that.
I'm not posting my political opinions here.
I don't want any arguments.
-
I did some homework.
It took me all day to finish.
At least I planned the story.
It's probably gonna suck.
-
I practiced the xylophone today.
Blech.
-
My friend Laura still talks to me.
It's actually kind of shocking.
I really thought she'd abandon me once I moved.
Thank you Laura.
-
I've been listening to a lot of Shades Of Waves stuff lately.
It's some cool stuff.
http://www.seeyouinsleep.com/shades-of-waves/
Makes you really appreciate the everyday world.
And the Tibetan Singing bowl.
-
I'm starting a new series.
It's called Uneducated Thoughts.
A lot of the posts will be like this.
Just my thoughts on things.
I hope you like it.

Bye.

It's The Little Things That Manage To Annoy The Heck Outta Me

            I know that I've already made a whole page for it, but I just don't feel I've talked to you enough about the things that annoy me. So, here we go.
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             Now, if you've ever been on the internet, you've probably seen something like this:

WHAT DOES IT SAY!?!?!?

You know these things. They're everywhere. They pop up just about every time you try to do something on the internet. I believe the point of these is to keep laser-equipped robots from hacking into your confidential information. But, all they seem to do is annoy the heck out of me. I mean, sometimes they're alright, like the one above, but if they look like this:

Then there's no way you're ever going to even guess what it says. You will constantly try refreshing the page and deciphering that code, but it never works. Your computer fills up with messages like this:

At this point, they seem to think you are a laser-wielding robot trying to hack someone's account. You should really give up.

But you don't.

You will keep trying to get it right, convincing yourself that the next one will be easier, but they never are. Eventually, you get a final message and you decide it's not worth it. You go back to doing whatever else you want to do, but there's always that little message, nagging you.

"I will destroy you."

---------------------------------------------

             I'm now going to describe my annoyance with people like someone I will call "Jerk" for the sake of privacy. Jerk has never been very kind to me, but I've grown to know that he's going to keep being an idiot. I'm not as annoyed with him anymore, but there's still one thing that gets me every day.

             Every morning, while walking to the bus stop, Jerk decides it's necessary to launch a large glob of mucus onto the nearest patch of dry land, splattering it with sticky globs of mouth-snot.

Repulsive...

This little action drives me insane. It repulsive and unsanitary, as well as just plain stupid. If you need to remove the mucus from your throat, do it discreetly, don't leave it there, baking on the sidewalk like a disgusting little slug. Every time this happens, I have to restrain myself from ranting on about the dangers of salivating on every object in sight. I want to shout thing like "FIRE!" every time that little package of mouth-snot is ejected from his face. I have to stop myself from saying "Fire the cannon!" or "Unleash the Kraken!" when Jerk does that.

And believe me, it's hard.

I swear, one day I will say something, and he better watch out if he keeps doing it. If I can slay potatoes, I can slay Jerks. They're practically the same thing.

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             There's another type of jerk, too. I'll call him Jerk2.0. Jerk2.0 thinks he's perfect. Every day in gym class I have to listen to the constant stream of bossiness that spews from his face. Even when we're doing something simple, like volleyball, he manages to act like the boss of the whole team. Jerk2.0 will mirthlessly "help" you until you manage to do something better than him until the class ends. He messes up, too. So he's really just being a hypocrite.

You People Disgust Me...

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             Alright! I'll try to post more frequently. Chapter 3 of Henry Is Almost done!

Bad Morning

      My morning:

1. My dad's alarm halfway woke me up at 5:00 in the morning.
2. I fell back asleep and had a long, complex dream about find the album No by They Might Be Giants (which our family has been missing for some time) in the bottom of a cardboard bread crumb tube
3. My mom woke me up late at 7:00
4. I took a shower,
5. got dressed,
6.  ran downstairs and ate a nectarine
7. Looked in bread crumb tube for album
8. Was unsuccessful
9. Ate a yogurt while looking on the school website for the time the bell rings
10. freaked out because I couldn't find it
11. Looked for my shoes
12. Let my mom look in the school handbook for the bell time
13. got in car
14. arrived at school on time (Hallelujah!)

End

  Ugh. Worst morning ever. (Probably) I got to school on time, though (courtesy of my mother). Then I got an awesome compliment in language arts, and everything was better. My teacher even gave me extra time to finish it. Not the best day otherwise, but tomorrow will be better. I hope I have another good dream tonight, I really enjoyed last night's.