Uneducated Thoughts: The Female Gives Up Politics For Lent

Hey guys.
I'm just going to start this one out by saying
I don't care.
Now, don't immediately think I have become apathetic about my life.
Or have been totally reborn as a nihilist.
No.
I'm just giving up on trying to care about politics.
Now, I know, I know.
It's my country.
It's other peoples countries.
Its the way the world goes and I should participate in making it an ultimately better place.
But
let's face it.
I'm no feminist.
I wish I were a guys sometimes, not because I'm attracted to girls or anything,
but because I just respect guys more.
And I know, that's such an awful, heteronormative, gender-normy thing.
But I just don't care anymore.
Almost all of the people I look up to are guys.
(I'll admit, they aren't the manliest men in the world, but they're people that I honestly respect)
-
I read an article in the paper a little while ago
about how it's weirder to see a young boy wearing dresses than a young girl wearing guys clothing
because we still see girls as the lesser gender.
So why would a boy want to become weaker?
I just thought I should share that.
-
Speaking of the paper!
I can't even read it anymore.
I used to really enjoy it,
but now all I read is the film reviews, because that's the only escape from.
"Blahblahblah Barack Obama blahblahblah guns blahblahblah massacre"
It's all so depressing.
-
Additionally,
(because I'm just gonna spill my guts out all over this post)
I've become so sick of listening.
I mean, sure, I'm still open to listen and help when it's needed.
But I have been feeling so ready to just give that up,,
so willing to force my opinions onto others.
It's kind of a shame.
I feel so selfish.
-
I've been wanting an old instant film camera aLOT lately.
(Maybe inspired by this old video I found hanging around on the internet)
But I'm not willing to pay hundreds of dollars for it.
I've been looking in antique stores for one, but I haven't found one yet.
-
I've been doing a lot of art as well.
It's a really good way to get your mind off of things.

It's a quote from a
Driftless Pony Club song.

I made this one an hour ago.
And I drew this last night when I couldn't sleep.

(It says 'calm.')

It's really an enjoyable pastime, and it's something I'd love to incorporate into my future.
-
Um. Well.
That's all I have for you this week.
Check out my youtube for more videos.
See ya.

Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts: Sunday Anxiety Haircut

Hey guys.

It's Sunday again.
And you know what that means.
School begins again tomorrow.
And you know what that means.
I'm terrified.
-
Okay, honestly, I'm not really scared of attending school.
Oh no, it's not fear that dominates my emotions every Sunday.
It's pure, uninterrupted loathing.
(And, okay, a little bit of fear)
This loathing is largely due to the fact that I hate school, I don't really like anyone at school, and at school I'm forced to do all sorts of things I don't particularly enjoy.
(Like hand-write quickly, and talk to people, and math)
-
I'm seeing a counselor soon.
I'm kind of worried it won't work.
I've just been focused on my problems for a while now,
what if they don't count?
Above all else, I'm scared that this will all end up being an elaborate hoax created by my brain to get attention.
I just...
I don't know.
I'm scared.
I don't want the therapy to not work, and I don't want my problems to be much more mild than I think they are.
-
I'm getting a haircut on Wednesday.
FINALLY.
I'm going to do something a little bit different.
Not so many bangs on the forehead.
-
I feel...Kind of frustrated.
With myself.
I feel like I'm such a sad, pitiful little person.
Dwelling on my issues.
Worrying.
Doubting myself.
Regretting past decisions.
Loathing most parts of myself.
Wishing I had someone to talk to.
Who the hell wants to be friends with that kind of person, y'know?
-
Oh well.


Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts: I Don't Know What to Put Here Today

As I write this, I'm listening to music.
Just, in general.
Music.
No specifications here.
-
I wrote some poems a little while ago.
Most of them are about me
I kind of like them.
They've got a weird rhythm to them
-
I'm having some trouble typing today.
Lots of typos.
It's a little nerve-wracking.
-
It's finally Winter Break!
WOO!
NO MORE SCHOOL!
-
Honestly, though, it really is nice to have a Sunday where my whole day isn't spent going "Oh god, school tomorrow. Man, I hate school. I hate school"
-
I don't know what to say.
Maybe I have too much to say.
Maybe not enough.
I don't know.

Please comment.


Bye.

Woopsidaisy

 Oops.
 Hey guys.
 I guess I forgot to post yesterday, huh?
 I was going to record but then, for some reason, I didn't. And now my camera is charging, and it's already dark out.
 I really want to do a video. I really do. (Don't think I'm lying, this is seriously what I love doing) BUT, the camera has to be charged for me to talk to it.
 Hopefully, I'll be able to record tomorrow (depending on the amount of homework I have to do), but there aren't any guarantees. I was considering just scrapping together an artsy-ish video, but, after a bit of deliberation, I decided against it. I've convinced myself that I shouldn't just "throw together" an art video. Because they could end up being really easy to make. And, if they are easy to make, that means it's probably not great. The art videos are the ones I should be putting my everything into.
 Well, I suppose that's all. I just wanted to make a quick little post to update you guys on the state of my life right  now.
Hopefully, upload this wednesday.


Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts : Not Quite Forgotten

I filmed a video today.
But I might not even upload it.
Nothing I say is interesting.
I live the life of a twelve-year-old,
with my parents and family.
There's nothing to do, nothing to say.
All is childish,
all is youth.
And it sucks.
-
I really hate this.
I know I shouldn't.
I know my age should be a good thing,
just something I have to deal with.
But, somehow, it becomes difficult.
I'm ahead of my peers in self-observance.
I pay attention to how I feel,
to what my life is,
and, in that, I am beyond them.
-
YACHT, Bobby Birdman, and Jeffrey Jerusalem dominate my playlists.
(Mental playlists, of course. In reality, I have to search for all songs individually)
As well as some Santigold, and a bit of Ratatat.
-
I realize that this might sound a bit differently than usually.
I'm still in my writer mood,
so this voice might not be entirely my own.
Characters might creep in at the corners.
-
I'm hoping that, relatively soon, I'll be able to work on a video I've been planning.
I don't want to give anything away,
but it might involve fake blood.
-
My mind felt like it went through a meat grinder today.
Splattered around the inside of my skull, it hung in shreds and modestly processed the world around it.
Accounting for much of my general tiredness, slowness, and general dissatisfaction.
For some reason, I get confused by feeling average.
When I'm not remarkably happy, sad, angry, or bored, it's strange, to me.
I can't pinpoint my emotions, can't categorize.
Some people consider organization a useful skill,
but sometimes it seems more like a bad habit.
-
Well, I suppose I'll just leave you with that.
Not much to say.
Hopefully, there'll be a video,
but no guarantees.
(It saddens me that I have to say that)






Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts : Bittersweet Frustration (Rewiring a Brain)

Hello, people.
Today has been a weird day.
-
I'm talking to my cousin (via internet messaging) as I type this,
and I started to notice my words taking on certain uneducated thought-like qualities.
So I started writing this.
-
I'm working on a project for school!
Yeah.
It's tough, analyzing an insanely boring quote.
-
I got new earrings.
I had recently decided that I could wear gigantic earrings,
since I have sort hair and a long neck.
They reach my shoulders.
-
I stepped on a picture frame the other day.
So I decided to draw on the glass.
Transparency is interesting.
-
Possible friendships might be getting somewhere.
Maybe.
I hope.
-
I have another meeting with my guidance counselor on Wednesday.
I'm supposed to show her my ideas for things.
Y'know, things for the school.
But I can't help but wonder...
Will this be like Terri?
-
I've been watching a lot of videos,
of course.
I always am.
And, to be honest,
it's a little bittersweet.
You watch this videos of people.
People with friends.
People just having a good time in front of their cameras.
And you get this feeling.
This frustration,
and this happiness.
You're happy for them, it looks fun,
but you also want that.
You want those friends.
-
I probably need to start thinking differently.
But rewiring a mindset is completely different from fixing a lamp.
It takes time.
And, right now, there's just so much nothing going on.
I've been living in my head.
-
Been listening to the Presets, Ratatat, and Iron & Wine.
Depending on my mood.
-
I've started editing three different videos since the last upload,
and I hate all of them.
I just can't decide on which one I hate the least.
I really don't want to upload something I don't like,
but that might mean making you guys wait.
-

Sorry

Sorry, guys.
No new video today.
It's so hard to make something I like without a camera, and the immense amount of editing required is hard to pull off with homework and such.
Been feeling a bit...
Sad?
I don't know.
I've just been feeling off lately.
Working on a new design-y thing.
It's got...Faces.
I need, like, one more.
Maybe two.
Well.
I guess that's it.
See you guys soon.
(insert half-hearted smile)



Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts : "A New Medium: Panda Pornography"

Hey guys.
It's me.
-
So,
just recently,
my camera battery came in the mail.
There's just one tiny little problem.
The camera still doesn't work.
-
I've been listening to a lot of Pandora lately.
I think it's kinda neat.
-
I've also been a bit bored.
It's not that I don't have ideas.
I have plenty of ideas.
But they're all sitting around and getting stale.
I have no means of executing them.
Soon, they'll start rotting.
Gross.
-
My efforts to make a friend are going okay.
We still haven't had any successful conversations yet,
but we try.
We're getting there.
-
YACHT is going on tour.
Yeah.
With The Presets.
So that's pretty neat.
Too bad the closest place they're coming to is New York.
-
I wish I had something interesting to say.
But you guys probably don't care anyway.
Because you're only my family.
(Must. Make. Friends.)
-
I've been considering expanding my "Female Approves Of"
Should I?
I probably will anyway.
-
So, I had an interesting little altercation with my sister the other day.
Somehow, something about blogging came up.
She told me I should make a blog.
After a long, awkward, pause, I said,
"I already have one."
Then she accused me of using it to post Mitchell Davis/Panda Bear pornography.
And that was it.
-
I don't know why it scares me so much that she could find out.
It just does.
Oh well.
She will eventually.
(Probably soon)
-
I feel like I'm not doing anything.
I mean, I am doing things.
The other day I drew my self.
And I've been doing a lot of 'video research'.
(AKA: Watching Bath Boys videos and trying to convince myself it's a good use of my time.)
-
I'm still not sure what wall to make the inspirational one.
I've been wanting to make another page, but I need a quote.
And ideas, you guys?
I need to read something inspirational.
-
Well, I guess that's it.
I'm gonna go watch Youtube and wait for money to magically appear in my room.
See you on wednesday.


Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts: Real Feminism

Hey guys.
It's me again.
-
I got a new cardigan.
It's grey.
I quite like it.
My granddad used to wear lot of cardigans.
Maybe it's hereditary.
-
There's a really cool documentary coming out.
I'm real excited about it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCAAf7y8FOg&feature=g-user-lik
Can't wait 'till I get to see it.
-
This is one of those days when I feel like a true feminist.
Putting up with cramps without taking painkillers.
(Okay, fine.
My stomach can't handle the pills.
But still,
I'm tough.)
Top that, Ani DiFranco.
-
Today, I'm listening to Amanda Palmer.
Pretty catchy stuff.
-
We don't have school tomorrow.
It's Rosh Hashana.
I'm not Jewish.
-
It's sunny out today.
Almost fall, though.
Pretty excited.
I love the food in fall.
Pumpkin-flavored anything is pretty sweet.
-
Well, I guess that's all I have to say.
Enjoy my stream of consciousness.

Bye.

Uneducated Thoughts: A Collection of Short Sentences

It's me, Corrina.

I've recently been slacking on my videos.
My camera's broken.
My camera. Is. Broken.
And it's been driving me insane.
I just want to take pictures and make videos.
But that's hard to do when you have a camera that doesn't charge properly.
Or even connect to your computer.
Oh well.
-
So,
School has  started now.
The new school's alright.
I'm not loving music class.
Oh well.
Shtuff happens.
-
What do you think of the new background?
I kinda like it.
I enjoyed making it.
I'd like to do more background/title-y/graphic-type things, but I don't know what to make them for.
And I have school.
-
The election's coming up.
Hooray for that.
I'm not posting my political opinions here.
I don't want any arguments.
-
I did some homework.
It took me all day to finish.
At least I planned the story.
It's probably gonna suck.
-
I practiced the xylophone today.
Blech.
-
My friend Laura still talks to me.
It's actually kind of shocking.
I really thought she'd abandon me once I moved.
Thank you Laura.
-
I've been listening to a lot of Shades Of Waves stuff lately.
It's some cool stuff.
http://www.seeyouinsleep.com/shades-of-waves/
Makes you really appreciate the everyday world.
And the Tibetan Singing bowl.
-
I'm starting a new series.
It's called Uneducated Thoughts.
A lot of the posts will be like this.
Just my thoughts on things.
I hope you like it.

Bye.