Writing From A Human: It's The Little Things That Manage To Annoy The Heck Outta Me

I know that I've already made a whole page for it, but I just don't feel I've talked to you enough about the things that annoy me. So, here we go.
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Now, if you've ever been on the internet, you've probably seen something like this:

WHAT DOES IT SAY!?!?!?

You know these things. They're everywhere. They pop up just about every time you try to do something on the internet. I believe the point of these is to keep laser-equipped robots from hacking into your confidential information. But, all they seem to do is annoy the heck out of me. I mean, sometimes they're alright, like the one above, but if they look like this:

Then there's no way you're ever going to even guess what it says. You will constantly try refreshing the page and deciphering that code, but it never works. Your computer fills up with messages like this:

At this point, they seem to think you are a laser-wielding robot trying to hack someone's account. You should really give up.

But you don't.

You will keep trying to get it right, convincing yourself that the next one will be easier, but they never are. Eventually, you get a final message and you decide it's not worth it. You go back to doing whatever else you want to do, but there's always that little message, nagging you.

"I will destroy you."

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I'm now going to describe my annoyance with people like someone I will call "Jerk" for the sake of privacy. Jerk has never been very kind to me, but I've grown to know that he's going to keep being an idiot. I'm not as annoyed with him anymore, but there's still one thing that gets me every day.

Every morning, while walking to the bus stop, Jerk decides it's necessary to launch a large glob of mucus onto the nearest patch of dry land, splattering it with sticky globs of mouth-snot.

Repulsive...

This little action drives me insane. It repulsive and unsanitary, as well as just plain stupid. If you need to remove the mucus from your throat, do it discreetly, don't leave it there, baking on the sidewalk like a disgusting little slug. Every time this happens, I have to restrain myself from ranting on about the dangers of salivating on every object in sight. I want to shout thing like "FIRE!" every time that little package of mouth-snot is ejected from his face. I have to stop myself from saying "Fire the cannon!" or "Unleash the Kraken!" when Jerk does that.

And believe me, it's hard.

I swear, one day I will say something, and he better watch out if he keeps doing it. If I can slay potatoes, I can slay Jerks. They're practically the same thing.

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There's another type of jerk, too. I'll call him Jerk2.0. Jerk2.0 thinks he's perfect. Every day in gym class I have to listen to the constant stream of bossiness that spews from his face. Even when we're doing something simple, like volleyball, he manages to act like the boss of the whole team. Jerk2.0 will mirthlessly "help" you ~~until you manage to do something better than him~~ until the class ends. He messes up, too. So he's really just being a hypocrite.